The Crunchies: Tech Awards, Shocking Winners, and Crazy Laughter!


TechCrunch Crunchies

First of all, I am incredibly thankful to my boss at RocketSpace, Duncan Logan, who very generously sponsored any of his employees who wanted to attend TechCrunch’s Crunchies.

I’m ashamed to admit that, as a complete noob, I had no idea the whole point was the drinks, networking and other cavorting after the awards and promptly snuck out when I miraculously got a SideCar right after the last award was dished out (hey, who knows if I could have gotten one at 11:00 pm?!)

Even so, man were the Crunchies awesome! John Oliver is ridiculously funny, and some of the award presenters weren’t half bad either.

I did write a blog post about the Crunchies for work, but here’s my unfiltered (well, lightly filtered) and completely personal account! *There are more than enough websites where you can peruse the list of nominees and winners so I’ll spare you the lists and get on to the juicy parts.

Oh yes, the fine folks at TechCrunch know their shit. The whole thing started off with a very sarcastic musical opener (“Technical Issues,” just a guess based on the number of times that phrase sprang up) performed by none other than theater actress Spencer Rose, who made a slew of playful jabs at corporate sponsor Yahoo’s endless acquisitions, the colorful selection on Tinder and surge pricing.

Since I figured you’d wanna watch, here’s the Youtube vid ;D

As amazing as that intro was, John Oliver really drove the entire thing into helpless hysterics, ripping on everything from nerds judging each other, to Uber’s shady kitten deliveries & surge pricing, to the tech industry itself (who else would start off with chastising the crowd “Why does the tech industry need an awards ceremony? You already have most of the money in the world!”), all the way to CNN’s sad analysis of 2013 as the year of the Selfie. But, oh wait! He then went on to describe a vivid shot of some crazy guy jet skiing smack dab in the middle of a hurricane in NYC… and stopping, why else? To snap a Selfie.

Yes, I did have a hard time narrowing it down to just those 3 choice moments, and yeah, John Oliver told that jet ski anecdote so vividly I actually thought I was dreaming it!

The Daily Show vet wasn’t the only one who could pull a joke though. Dave McClure ripped on Clinkle’s inability to create well, much of anything really, by sarcastically declaring it the best bootstrapped startup of the year, and FiftyThree’s John Ikeda shocked (and dare I say delighted?) everyone by slipping in an “and we’re hiring!” before taking off with the Crunchy for Best Design to an acute and contagious outburst of laughter.

This is getting long so I’ll have to leave the rest to the net, but don’t be shy, Google and Youtube all of this. You won’t regret it!

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One thought on “The Crunchies: Tech Awards, Shocking Winners, and Crazy Laughter!

  1. Pingback: The Crunchies: Tech Awards, Shocking Winners, and Crazy Laughter! | TinderNews

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